tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-541617152207485672.post5031892963040154610..comments2010-04-15T11:38:58.573-05:00Comments on Moms and Adoption: Let's go to therapy.... again??Kristinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14722319327079489528noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-541617152207485672.post-43152713876981008832010-03-21T15:46:52.317-05:002010-03-21T15:46:52.317-05:00Lisa, first of all, I cannot tell you how honorabl...Lisa, first of all, I cannot tell you how honorable it is that you talk so highly of your daughter. I would imagine you feel hurt by a lot of things she has done to you in the past. From this, I know a lot of us adoptive parents, including myself at times, want to find a way to get back at them. So, I would like to applaud you that you speak so highly of her.<br />Secondly, no, I don't think it is "duh" (cute comment, though) that you haven't gone to an attachment therapist/ counselor. Not only are they very hard to find, for a good one (we found that out in the past 6+ months and then several years ago when we tried to find one), but many times until someone else says to the family that 'you need this,' meaning a specific type of therapist, it might not cross your mind. For the first year or two (however long it was until we started seeing an attachment therapist), we didn't know that specialty existed. Then, once we saw someone in that field and they were no more helpful (that was just ours) than the others, we didn't bother anymore.<br />You've had some tough things to process. I feel bad. That's not fair to you as a mother who took care of this child that she just left. Sorry, it's probably not my place to say that. I am just putting myself in your shoes and picturing the pain you must be feeling, too. I know it is a lot about her, but you need to think about yourself. I know these children do the things they do because they are hurting. It just stinks that the hurt cycle has to keep perpetuating itself!Kristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14722319327079489528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-541617152207485672.post-50135703384585178302010-03-17T22:19:48.792-05:002010-03-17T22:19:48.792-05:00We, too, have tried several counselors. They were...We, too, have tried several counselors. They weren't bad, and the last one seemed to make some progress. But, it was only about two days after a seemingly successful session that our daughter left home. So, I am not sure how to process that. We haven't tried an attachment therapist yet (maybe you think that's a duh on our part...sometimes I do), but we're gonna give it a shot now with the hope that it's never too late. At this point, we just need something to begin to get through to her. I will keep you posted. Oh, and I'm sure its not the same place you went, since we don't live in the same state. <br /><br />We did have many people trying to be helpful giving us advice that was totally non applicable. I had to remember each time that they really cannot understand because they haven't lived with a child with RAD. There's just nothing that I've heard of that compares.<br /><br />I am still healing from the last ten years and trying to move forward with the healthy part of my life, our marriage and family, while at the same time dealing with her dire situation. I am trying to not give it much emotional energy or talk about it much, but only deal with what she presents to us and leave it at that. She texts or calls me about once a week. She doesn't ask for much from us, but we continue to assure her of our love for her, hopefully in ways that she receives. I love that girl with everything in me and want her to be blessed.Lisa Hoffmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02503438494266727509noreply@blogger.com